"I Was a Class Leader": Exploring a Chinese English Teacher's Negative Emotions in Leadership Development in Taiwan

The importance of teacher leadership has gradually come to be recognized in English Language Teaching (ELT). Research on this topic, however, has focused on program management or learner perception without considering teacher emotions. This study explores the leadership development of one Chinese English teacher who was a subject leader in the 12-Year Basic Education Reform in Taiwan with an aim to show how negative emotions may impede leadership development. Data were gathered from interviews and documents. The results reveal negative emotions-worry, anxiety, powerlessness, exhaustion, and dissatisfaction-in the English subject leader's journey of developing a school-based curriculum. These emotions not only signify unpreparedness, low self-efficacy, limited support, exhausting work. and a divided vision, but also a disempowerment resulting from a hierarchical leader-follower relationship. This study thus highlights the primacy of learning a new mindset of horizontal teacher leadership and calls attention to the role emotions play in leadership development.