Negotiating Marriage: A Process Model of Heterosexual Engagement

Based on data from qualitative interviews with 40 engaged heterosexual couples, this paper examines how couples transform their relationship from "serious" to being "engaged to be married."Social Scientists have developed relationship models designed to explain the transformation, but these models fail to adequately capture how couples transform their relationship and the context in which this behavior occurs. Using a constructionist framework, an alternative process model is offered. The five-process model captures the ongoing and fluid work couples perform to negotiate a redefinition of the relationship. Couples reflexively use a host of complex symbolic interaction including talk, rituals, relationships with others, testing, and use of time to construct their relationship in a new way. By examining the underlying reality construction process, rather than merely looking at the outcome, the social processes and human actions that shape relationships are revealed.