Gay moral discourse: Talking about identity, sex, and commitment

Gay men in the New York City metropolitan area were interviewed from 1990 to 1991, during the period of the AIDS epidemic. Using an interview schedule, they were asked questions about "coming out of the closet" and other identity issues: their experiences of "difference," beliefs about monogamous or "open" relationships, and their views about sex and commitment. The study's focus was on the men's "moral discourse" or their relationship to the "good," including ideas of the self, other(s), friendship, love, sex, and commitment. The study yielded a consistency in the men's responses: they did not wish to impose on other gay men their own convictions about being gay, sex, and intimate relationships. Their talk was tentative, localized, highly personal, and "nonjudgmental" on a range of identity and moral issues. These findings are discussed by relating the men's life experiences to the gamy culture they shared: their unwillingness to judge others reflects their own formative experiences of "coming out" in a society that judged gay men harshly and who, in later years, lived at the time of the AIDS crisis.