Is it something I said? Sense of humor and partner embarrassment

This manuscript explores one romantic partner's humor use and the resulting embarrassment felt by the other partner using coorientation theory. Self-report and partner perception data were gathered from 106 couples (N = 212) in romantic relationships, and two coorientation variables were calculated. Actor-Partner Independence Models estimated the relationships between four humor styles and partner embarrassment. Aggressive humor was related to partner embarrassment and self-defeating humor with feeling embarrassed by one's partner. For women, perceived similarity in aggressive and self-defeating humor mitigated embarrassment, and greater understanding of men's self-defeating humor was related to embarrassment. In Study 2, a 2 x 2 experiment (N = 222) tested whether self-defeating humor predicts embarrassment or whether embarrassment predicts self-defeating humor use, with results supporting the former.