Issues of closeness and distance in dating relationships: Effects of sex and attachment style

This study was designed to clarify the nature of partners' needs for closeness and distance in established dating relationships, by integrating theories of attachment, gender role socialization, and dialectical contradictions. Seventy-two couples who had been dating their partners for at least one year provided unstructured accounts of their relationships, and completed measures of attachment style and relationship satisfaction, Both qualitative and quantitative analyses were conducted. Results showed that issues of closeness and distance were highly salient, especially for insecurely attached individuals. The presence and nature of reported differences in partners' needs for closeness-distance were predicted by sex and by the attachment styles of both partners; these differences were also linked to relationship satisfaction. Participants frequently reported that interactions concerning closeness-distance had changed during the course of the relationship, supporting dialectical theorists' emphasis on the tension between needs for autonomy and connection. Recurrent conflicts over closeness-distance were linked with attachment insecurity, especially males' dismissing-avoidance. The results highlight the need to consider both sex and attachment style differences in explaining conflicts over closeness and distance.