Breathing Back My Life

This article is a performative personal narrative inspired by the writing of Eve Sedgwick (1998) and Stacy Holman Jones (2011) using a Halibun style of writing (a method of writing employed by the Japanese poet Basho that combines prose and haiku poetry to describe life experiences in a poetic manner) as a way of enhancing events that have led the author to give up a familial relationship. The article examines a failed relationship between father and son. The author discovers that not all familial relationships are healthy and that not all investigations lead to a positive conclusion. It is the process that is most healing. Rather than experiencing reconciliation, the reader is left with the understanding that it is acceptable to let go of a relationshipeven a familial onethat stifles, which then allows a refocusing of energy on those relationships that lift us and allow us to breathe. Using breathing as a metaphor, the narrative reveals the difficulty of allowing ourselves the ability to let go of a failed relationship.