Why No One Can "Have It All" and Why That Matters for Everyone

New trends in the organization of economic and private life have added a major wrinkle to the still unfolding gender revolution. The decline of the standard employment relationship has eroded the ability of salaried and wage-earning men to support a family household, while the decline of permanent, heterosexual marriage has undermined the traditional gender bargain that encouraged most women to provide unpaid caregiving in exchange for a partner's financial support. These widespread social shifts have created new economic insecurities and intensified work-family conflicts. Drawing on 120 in-depth interviews with a diverse group of mid-life adults, I examine how workers and parents are navigating these new conflicts and insecurities. Four work-care strategies are emerging, all of which involve significant trade-offs. Among the four patterns, however, people are most satisfied with an egalitarian strategy. A substantial proportion in the other groups, which include traditional couples, childless singles, and unequal dual-earners, also express a preference for a more egalitarian sharing of work and care, although the preference for equality varies by gender. Effective social policy thus needs to insure that everyone-including people of all genders, class positions, and family circumstances-has the opportunity to forge a more equal, blended, and secure division of work and caregiving.