The prevalence of problematic social media use (PSMU) has garnered significant attention, with studies indicating that excessive use can lead to negative mental health outcomes, such as depression. It was believed that when an individual's relatedness need is thwarted, they seek compensation, sometimes leading to problematic usage behaviors. However, the role of coping mechanisms in this process has been relatively underexplored. One assumption suggests that individuals engage in compensatory social media use when they encounter relatedness need frustration (RNF). Building upon this assumption and drawing from the perspectives of Self-Determination Theory (SDT) and the cognitive-motivational-relational theory (CMRT), this study investigates the role of mindfulness and maladaptive coping (MC) in the relationship between RNF and PSMU. The study involved 293 Chinese emerging adults divided into experimental (i.e., 161) and control (i.e., 132) groups. Social exclusion manipulation was conducted through the Cyberball paradigm to induce RNF in the experimental group: participants received the ball on the computer program twice at the beginning of the Cyberball game but did not receive it again. Meanwhile, participants in the neutral condition group received balls with the same frequency as other players. Measures of RNF, MC, PSMU, and mindfulness levels were collected through self-reported questionnaires, and two path models were constructed. The findings revealed that mindfulness mediated the relationship between RNF and MC in both groups. In the frustrated group, MC was significantly negatively correlated with PSMU; whereas, in the control group, the correlation was positive but insignificant. The results show that individuals are inclined to avoid social situations when facing social stress events, even online social contexts like social media, whereas this tendency is absent in the neutral condition. This study provides theoretical evidence of how RNF influences PSMU through coping mechanisms in the Chinese context, which differs from findings in other countries. Chinese participants, after experiencing social ostracism events that trigger RNF, tend to adopt avoidant coping strategies, thereby reducing PSMU. Besides, the results indicate that mindfulness intervention methods can effectively improve coping styles, offering a promising approach to reducing PSMU. These interventions can be specifically designed to help young adults adopt more adaptive coping mechanisms, instead of relying on avoidant coping strategies which usually induce excessive social media use. Limitations of the study and future directions are discussed: the generalizability of the results is limited by the homogeneity of the sample's cultural background; the cross-sectional nature of the study prevents the establishment of causal relationships between the variables. Future research can address these limitations by improving these aspects and further exploring how different coping strategies may lead to potential changes in the mechanism established in this study.