Using a contemporary feminist framework, professional engineering education is located in the intersection of three discourses - the scientific discourse, the managerial discourse and the liberal education discourse. Within each of these discourses, ways of understanding engineering are articulated. This articulation occurs through practices, values, pedagogy and available knowledge(s) of engineering education. Centred in these discourses are particular normalised ways of understanding the engineer - these are the engineering identities of the scientist, servant and citizen. These are successful identities available to women (albeit with some restrictions). A number of practices, contexts and interactions, which create identities for women 'outside' engineering - the almost guys, helpmate and power-puff - girls are also identified. While advocacy can 'learn' from both the strategic compliance, at trines, and the relative ease of some women's 'fit' into 'normal' engineering identities, in the women's experiences there remains a prevalent theme of 'not belonging' in the engineering community 'as of right'. It is argued that for full and effective participation in the engineering community we need to begin to explore how this asymmetrical relationship between men and women continues to be reiterated through the context of engineering education, particularly in engineering knowledge(s). In view of this, feminist advocacy needs to forge new partnerships with men in engineering, to ensure together that they achieve their intended goal of equity and equality for women in engineering.