Times of individualization and narcissism: The collective monologue within intimate relationships

The results of a qualitative study on couples and intimate relationships in times of individualization are discussed. The study is based on life stories of young and adult men and women, regarding their couple experiences, and on focus groups, oriented to approach the collective discourse regarding intimate relationships. The analysis articulates social transformations of hypermodernity with developments from relational psychoanalysis. The findings show a pattern of impoverishment of intimate bonds, associated to threat and dependence. A new possible understanding is suggested where intimacy, rather than a state to be achieved, refers to a process of breaks and repairs. This perspective entails shifting the focus from a dichotomous logic of complementarities within couples, to the space of thirdness created by bonds.